Struggled with thoughts of quitting church totally, enemies' playground is my mind, and it is also my battlefield. Thoughts like this, are of the flesh, not of me. Even when I do feel suicidal after things happen, it is of the flesh, not of me too.

Today I was feeling really random, after a really GOOD SERMON, an awesome praise & worship by Darlene, singing my favourite HOSANNA & Healer by Planetshakers was sung too and a chat with RC, I walked around aimlessly and I realized that I was walking around places that I once hung around, I call it "tpcg hotspots". I seriously don't know what to say but it feels as tho my surrounding is making me miss my ex cg. Not that I don't wanna move on but the more things around me feel sucky the more I think. But I didn't even see one of them, sadly. I miss the shopping queens in the cg... seriously...I once thought that tpcg was too kiddy, but now come to think of it, I regret moving up cuz I thought I was out of topic with them and thus I miss them like crazy.

Pastor Benjamin's preaching seemed like it was talkin' to me again.
I am in a state of famine, feeling so very dry, he also mentioned about CG, oh man so spot on can. Not wanting to be with people very much, esp cg. I really can't explain it but it sucks. I don't want to continue feeling like tiz. I wana drop cg commitments yet all i can do is blog. I miss my hyper n zealous self, screaming for Jesus! N ever looking forward to cg sessions, cg befrienders meetings, calling up d newcomers to find out whether they are coming or juz dropping a word of encouragement. There were many meetings n I never ever got tired of them. But now that sunday is no difference from a normal weekday, rawr, instead everything seems slow and draggy.

Yesterday as i was spending time with YWA RSM, it was really enjoyable.
But I seem to be giving in to the thoughts of isolation...but it is also cuz I don't wanna be commited to cg anymore.
I feel like going into isolation, thoughts of the flesh? Maybe.

I don't know what on earth is wrong or right with me la. I dun enjoy Sundays as much I did before, and the first time I came, in June 2006.

Is it really my famine period?