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For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us


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the Princess.

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A long day.

30th Decemeber - Went for Rachel's dad funeral service... the 3rd time I'm attending a funeral service in New Creation Church... But this time, it was a little different. It was a really dear friend's dad... I made a new friend, Lucy, who happened to be Vivien Tan's aunt. She asked me to help out with the drinks and keep the chairs. Yes, of course. I was more than willing to help...When the admin lady at the counter broke the news to me last Sunday, I was wondering how Rachel was really feeling. Just weeks ago, I was having dinner with Rachel and her mum, Rosalind at Bugis wan tan mee shop... and they headed to visit the dad in the hospital... I could not do much but help was all I could offer, so I helped out a little... and Rachel's block is actually just beside VFC tampines. The church where I used to go to practice for my drama production.

Rachel is a really awesome friend. Few times we chatted way into the night. Like 3am... the next day... she knew I was feeling down.. and issues I had previously with certain people. The next day, she surprised me with a little card, a heartwarming message and a bible verse. There was another occassion where I remembered, I wanted a sermon CD so much but I was going through "financial famine", she got it for me....

Dolly and Francis, my ex fellow omegans were there as well... as they were good friends with Rosalind and her husband.

Funeral service was conducted by Pastor Joshua...Lucy was quite surprised that Pastor Joshua could actually play the guitar...Yes, we sang the song "So Close" by Hillsong. It is one of my favorite old hillsong songs...

I've also learned some things.. like death to a believer is a promotion because yes, they are going to heaven, with Jesus. Rachel's dad passed away really peacefully as he saw Jesus while he was sleeping... the day before... Rachel shared quite abit about her dad... after which we had light refreshments... I set up the chairs and took out the drinks together with some other youths...

So when we all settled down, I actually sat down with Dolly and Francis and another couple I didn't know. To my surprise, the couple was talking to Pastor Joshua when he was standing up awhile and down he sat at the same table as me. Right, so he talked to the people around. He looked at me and say, "it's surprising to see you here, not knowing anybody" ... I said, "no... I know Rachel"... he said, "ohhhh"... I said, "yup and I kinda know Rosalind too"... he said.."okay"...
I guess Pastor Joshua always matched my face to RSM Omega, "the overflow room usher"...
Initially he thought that I was related to Dolly and Francis. Cuz I was often with them...
Pastor Joshua does not know my name, but know me by my face.

I made another new friend who was seriously, such a kind soul. Vinni's cg mate... I was surprised to see Vinni, Lionel and Cindy (Tan) there and also Gerri as according to some people, Rachel was supposed to be in their care group but she doesn't turn up. (and I know she has valid reasons) Okay it was Vinni's cg mate, Ken who drove us (Vinni, Lionel and me) home.

Today... I was hanging around abit with Ivy, Muru and the other indonesian guy (can't remember his name, sorry!) after class at commonwealth. I was discussing with the 2 of them how songs become categorized as "OLD" very fast. Anyway, after that I went for the cremation. First time going for the last day of a funeral. Alot of mixed emotions. I could almost feel the sadness...Well, weep with all those who weep and rejoice with all those who rejoice...Huilong also came awhile before we left for Mandai and chatted with Rachel. One of the really few ex tpcg people who came man. Joey and Aaron was also around for the funeral service.
During the cremation at the viewing hall, alot of them started to tear. This was then I started to lookout for people, helped a little with the tissues...

The tension was eased when we returned to Rachel's void deck and people all started eating...
Her "kao mo" (grand aunt in Cantonese) spoke to me in Cantonese, I understood I tried to respond back in Cantonese but it ended up all jumbled up... LOL. And then, we realized that her "kao mo" can speak English, Mandarin, Cantonese, Teochew & Hokkien. Oh the horror! I wanna learn alot of languages too. It's my dream, I may wanna take up a course in Translation Studies as well...HAHA. Her "kao mo" seemed to like me and was really cool. She touched my chubby cheeks and I didn't know how to respond but smiled. I so wanna be part of community services this time man, I am so gonna learn all sorts of dialect, just tell me about it. Elderlys are really nice people to talk to actually... Then, Francis kept trying to make me laugh, yesterday also... SINCE THE OMEGAN DAYS, juz tell me about it... so I came out with this "Alaskan joke" term (cold jokes - not funny, just "chui" - hopeless and lame) and "Egyptian joke" (hot jokes - make you laugh 'til you've gotta tummy ache)... duh... okay... then he said something about Omega is missing my laughter. HA HA HA. I doubt they will...

I came home after the whole clean-up was done. I napped a little on the way home on the bus so right now I do not feel that shagged.

Okay, that's about it. I'm off to Indochine to meet Sandra & the rest! SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!



princess לינדה הודית the Beloved @ 8:53 PM


Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Interesting! Interesting! Interesting!

The Different Versions of Psalms 37:4

Amplified;
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.

New International Version;
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

New King James Version;
Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

King James Version;
Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.



princess לינדה הודית the Beloved @ 1:37 AM


Monday, December 29, 2008

2009

1) GO BACK INTO USHERING (any team, Lord)
2) BE DEBT FREE
3) HAVE LOTSA FAVOR WITH PEOPLE.

DEKTOS :

delight, favor, acceptance

DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD AND HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART!

Amen! Amen! Amen! Amen! Amen!

Today, I had an outbreak again... I cannot deny that that memory... was triggered for awhile when I couldn't find anyone... my gifts distribution... I came at 3.15pm only to realize that I came in vain... I felt so neglected I started tearing... It was then when Amy discovered me...started questioning and asked why was I sitting on the floor crying...I just gently shook my head... my hand had some marks that I did out of anger... Amy was staring in that direction for awhile... asked if I was alone for service and started talking about the care group thing again. Out of concern, she asked me to join Arrow Private Care Group... I guess she really cares... still...
But I told her I'll think about it... okay...Everytime I tell them, I will think about it, I get bugged and bugged and bugged and bugged for reasons!!! HOW ANNOYING LA.

But no RSM, no Arrow... sorry to say this...
BACK TO MINISTRY NOW THOUGH.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO 17 JANUARY 2009, Performing Arts Ministry Orientation. Meet Julina Halim, Stephanie Lum, Amanda Tan & ALL THE OTHER SERVERS! I hope Alvin Elijah, Chris Goh & Jean Lee will be there!!! I'm also waiting for Community Services projects to come.
SIGNED UP FOR IT! HALLELUJAH! Woot, I signed up for Community Services Ministry with MALA of RSM Echo!!! KHAI LENG WILL BE THE ONE CONTACTING ME. SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WILL AND I AM UBER EXCITED!!! Yes, I just hope that they have trips to PRISONS as well.... CHC community services visits CHANGI PRISON... man.. ever since I went to that Children's Home, I am so attracted to Community Services... even if it was elderly people man... at least they are people who are willing to tell you stuff...

I can't fight the fact that I struggle with loneliness almost every Sunday... pre-service syndromes... and I try my best not to think about what happened that made me a loner today...
I've got nobody to tell, I feel horrible... leaders, jealousy... because it felt really terrible today... each time I think about what happened, I feel my head bursting and I will feel suicidal... I still struggle with it... Just that it wasn't as bad as before the prayer was made at Women's Meeting...

AHHH But something good to think about...

SERENE (David Lim's wife + Qwen's Aunt) said I gotta sweeeeeeeeet face ^^ while she was ushering at Level 4 Overflow Room.

I'm starting to keep to myself again...

Jesus I need You...Waiting for the Dektos year ahead... D:

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princess לינדה הודית the Beloved @ 2:41 AM


Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas Parties

HELLO WORLD!

I went for 3 Christmas parties 'tiz week altogether! Common denominator, ALL WITH GOOD FOOD! GLORIOUS FOOD!

24 Dec - Godparents' house = simple.. just eating... yeah..house at novena...

25 Dec - Sandra's house = church people - Asher & Kenneth + me, only 3 of us. Rest were Sand's school friends & couzzies. But made new friends... Sand's school friends were really a friendly bunch...We played some games... yeah (: CORNY FORFEITS. And lovely, went to B&J's after that... ICE CREAM!!! Chunky Monkey's just rocks...





26 Dec - Arrow Private CG's Christmas Party = Realizing that after disappearing from Arrow Ministry for so long, I really am getting quite lost each time I visit an event... People come, people go... I'm becomin' kinda quiet... I don't really mingle like I used to... I LOVED THE FOOD THERE ALOT. OH BY THE WAY, it was a really big house... a big care group. Another difference from all the other parties, PRAISE & WORSHIP...
But I've got really sweet notes from the private cg peeps...

(everyone wrote for each other)



- From PrisGan


- From Jeremy


- From Charis


- From Pams

- From Jun Ming a.k.a Jimmy

- From Jaslyn

- From Dorothy

- From Pokpok

- From Shem

Let me blog a lil' about Dorothy... She's really a sweetie... and true enough, our paths always crossed in 2008... First time... was when Arrow moved to rock auditorium for the first time.. I was doing some pre service stuff, shifting tables... and she came over "Hey hi, is it very heavy, can I help?" (and she went to the other end of the table) and helped me to move it to the other side of the rock auditorium... Next time I met her again... was when I first joined Genrev (Han's cg) for a structured activity at TCC's - Boat Quay. She was like saying, "EHHH IT'S YOU!!"
And now, she's an adult server at Arrow - Private cg... lol. I could tell she was trying to make me feel welcomed yesterday... Her sharing was really good. She's helping An Dien out... and she wants me to join PRIVATE CG. HA HA HA HA HA. I'll think about it.

But that's not all... the Christmas season is still on... & JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON.



princess לינדה הודית the Beloved @ 11:28 AM


Friday, December 26, 2008

PERFORMING ARTS MINISTRY

I'm officially part of it!!!

Received an e-mail from P.A. admin on the 23rd of December that I am asked to confirm my attendance for an orientation on 17 January 2009 (Saturday) at Noel Building. Oh man, thank You JESUS!!! I asked and I received... it was just that day that I was asking Daddy God if I could return to a ministry even if my motives, partially doesn't sound so right (partially, wanna make more friends)... SO TRIGGER HAPPY. Thank You Jesus... I don't wanna change ministry so often... I wanna remain faithful wherever I am...

If I wasn't asked to leave Royal Stewards Ministry, I wouldn't even have left... My passion for ushering still burns...

In the past, I asked God for an anointed handshake and a smiley face throughout each time I ushered. I was still so energetic after ushering last time and it was never a drag. Now, I am doing productions gotta ask Daddy God for anointed hands and a heart to learn and listen...

I am so happy to be in PERFORMING ARTS MINISTRY but I know I sound kinda greedy I really hope that I can go back to Royal Stewards Ministry someday ):

ASK, SEEK AND KNOCK.

DADDY GOD KNOWS MY HEART.

ABOVE ALL.

JESUS ROCKS MY WORLD.

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princess לינדה הודית the Beloved @ 2:57 AM


Thursday, December 25, 2008

BLESSED CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL!

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princess לינדה הודית the Beloved @ 11:06 PM


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Visit to Chen Su Lan Methodist Home with the Student Council!











princess לינדה הודית the Beloved @ 6:20 PM




Loneliness

Loneliness: Toothache of the Soul

Loneliness is one of life's most miserable experiences. Everyone feels lonely at times, but is there a message for us in loneliness? Is there a way we can turn it into something positive?

Sometimes loneliness is a temporary condition that departs in a few hours or a couple days. But when you're burdened with this emotion for weeks, months, or even years, it's definitely telling you something.

In a sense, loneliness is like a toothache: It's a warning signal that something is wrong. And like a toothache, if left unattended, it usually gets worse. Your first response to loneliness may be to self-medicate - to try home remedies to make it go away.

Busyness is a common treatment.

You may think that if you fill your life with so many activities that you don't have time to think about your loneliness, you'll be cured. But busyness misses the message. It's like trying to heal a toothache by taking your mind off it. Busyness is only a distraction, not a cure.

Buying is another favorite therapy.

Maybe if you purchase something new, if you "reward" yourself, you'll feel better. And surprisingly, you do feel better - but only for a short while. Buying things to fix your loneliness is like an anesthetic. Sooner or later the numbing effect wears off. Then the pain comes back as strong as ever. Buying can also compound your problems with a mountain of credit card debt.

Bed is a third response to loneliness.

You may believe that intimacy is what you need, so you make an unwise choice with sex. Like the prodigal son, after you come to your senses, you're horrified to discover that this attempt at a cure not only makes loneliness worse, it also makes you feel desperate and cheap. This is the false cure of our modern culture, which promotes sex as a game, as recreation. This response to loneliness always ends in feelings of alienation and regret.

The real message, the real cure.

If all of these approaches don't work, what does? Is there a cure for loneliness? Is there some secret elixir that will fix this toothache of the soul?

We need to begin with a correct interpretation of this warning signal. Loneliness is God's way of telling you that you have a relationship problem. While that may seem obvious, there's more to it than just surrounding yourself with people. Doing that is the same as busyness, but using crowds instead of activities.

God's answer to loneliness is not the quantity of your relationships, but the quality.

How is your relationship with God? Is it close and intimate, like that of a loving, caring father and his child? Or is your relationship with God cold and distant, only superficial? As you reconnect with God and your prayers become more conversational and less formal, you'll actually feel God's presence. His reassurance is not just your imagination. We worship a God who lives among his people through the Holy Spirit. Loneliness is God's way, first, of drawing us closer to him, then forcing us to reach out to other people.

For many of us, improving our relationships with others and letting them get close to us is a distasteful cure, as dreaded as taking your toothache to a dentist. But satisfying, meaningful relationships take time and work. We're afraid to open up. We're afraid to let another person open up to us.

Past hurts have made us distrustful.

Friendship requires giving, but it also requires taking, and many of us would rather be independent. Yet the persistence of your loneliness should tell you that your past stubbornness hasn't worked either.

If you muster the courage to restore your relationship with God, then with others, you'll find your loneliness lifting. This is not a spiritual Band-Aid, but a real cure that works.

Your risks toward others will be rewarded. You'll find someone who understands and cares, and you'll find others whom you understand and care about as well. Like a visit to the dentist, this cure turns out to be not only final, but much less painful than you feared.

My Child You're Not Alone
At times like these it's hard to find the right words to say,
And I know that words alone won't take the pain away.
But, I know a man who sits high, and looks low,
And He is saying, "My child, you're not alone."

He is saying, "I love you and I am concerned about you,
And all the pain and hurt that you are going through."
He is saying, "Lean on me, I will be your comfort through this time.
And although it’s dark now, the sun again will shine."

Even though it’s hard to see through tears that you now cry,
Just know that there will come a day when your tears, He will dry.
And though words alone won’t ease the pain that you now feel,
Just know that in time, your heart, He will heal.

I pray that God will give you peace, and strength in your heart
As He holds you in His arms, and from you, He won’t depart.
May you always be encouraged, may you ever hold on.
And remember, "My child, you're not alone."

--by About.com member, Evangelist Johnnye V. Chandler



princess לינדה הודית the Beloved @ 12:30 PM


Monday, December 22, 2008

None, or maybe almost only half of one of my christmas pressies were given out...

People ignoring my call, people serving... all the whatever nots...
I was seated behind the stage... with the Genrev peeps, south side... realized that sitting there was not that bad after all... Been ushering in the north for quite some time...I kinda like South now... And they kept on flashing the South side on screen... "ACKNOWLEDGE THE PEOPLE BEHIND" I was stunned, because when that happened, I was in the middle of the stairs looking for my seat AND FIONA SAID SHE COULD LITERALLY SEE ME FROM AFAR (ushering at the other side *DUH*)

I really hate to say and admit this...
I don't like being high profile with the youth...
there maybe pros, BUT LOTS OF CONS as well...

I've been bugged with insecurity for such a long time...
Yes, it is a relationship killer...

And I feel that recently, alot of people have been ignoring me... it sucks...
I hate that insecured feeling.. I hate it when I see so many people surrounded with friends and I gotta be like a social butterfly... I wished I belong somewhere... But many doors were closed, shut tightly... a few times I just felt like crying... I THINK I don't blame someone anymore..

After that wonderful prayer at women's meeting...

But I think things have been better as well, for now, at least...

Yesterday, I bumped into her... like literally, side by side...

She was walking to and fro, I felt like shaking her hand and say, "BLESSED CHRISTMAS!!!"

but no, I don't wanna risk myself being pulled to some security / leader or even being called to the police...

I am neither here nor there I don't feel a sense of belonging in my church...

Insecured...

Nobody wants me as a friend...
Nobody really wants me as a sheep...

I know of people who have left arrow officially, yet their cg still welcome them with open arms...
Many times I tried joining my ex cluster (same as that person who left cg), I get pushed away...

I feel so irritated... I hate it!!!

and Sand has been faithfully calling me out to her parties... (okay, one of the few church mates)
THANKS SAND!

Shervyn still calls me out (Yes, at least I'm happy a friend still remembers me)


When I was sharing with her about my loneliness, she said she understands how I feel, she too .. felt it before... but thing is, she's in 2 ministries...what about me?

The challenge comes when I'm struggling with something... spiritual... questions...
WHERE DO I GO?

Ask God? Easy as it sounds...
I do not trust my own discernment, my own choices... never confident about it...



princess לינדה הודית the Beloved @ 12:23 PM


Saturday, December 20, 2008

Youth Ministry Christmas Bash

Pastor Benjamin





Han





























Christmas bash with Genrev, Arrow & Dare was a blast. Theme was toy factory and thus, I WAS WEARING MY SPONGEBOB TEE, totally color combi was SPONGEBOB. I was greeted by YQ saying "SPONGEBOB NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER!" I was like, "Oeiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"...
Overwhelmed by the crowd, I realized that sitting alone won't do... Thank God for Joey...
She brought me to a REALLY GOOD SEAT!
I was seated beside Fiona who was my Genrev cg mate + currently adult cg mate... and when praise & worship (PARTY TIME!) started I was hopping around Jasmine & some Genrev RSM-ers (GAH, now I know I miss them). I saw RACHEL!!! My faithful partner in GENREV RSM!!! BOOHOO I miss ya!!! I was also seated beside ex fellow Arrow Events server Jenna who didn't seem very responsive. But I didn't let that affect me!!!!! WOOHOO, I loved the PRAISE & WORSHIP. So shiok! in front me was my ex Genrev cg, behind me was NP CG (Arrow - Jolene's), few rows back down was Ruth Pan, Genrev - Mr Soo's cg... and GENREV RSM SERVERS!!!
Basically I was at the right section near door 4... Genrev, almost all... except for NP CG, I think...
Coach Han was in LAO FU ZI outfit, SO CUTE!!!
Coach Maddie was wearing some kinda funny looking thing...
and Coach Hee Jun was in TRANSFORMER suit (REALLY BIG LOOKIN' ONE!!!)


GENREV + ARROW + DARE = WHOLE ROCK AUDITORIUM, already...(Wow-ed)



princess לינדה הודית the Beloved @ 11:08 PM